Grossed Out! The Unlikely Death of Networking

Business Networking

Ask anyone in business where they get their best customers and somewhere in the first few sentences you’ll hear “word of mouth”. Ask anyone, anywhere how they found their favorite restaurant and it will likely be by referral. Even our best friends are often the result of meeting through others.

 

What you’ve just witnessed is the power of networking in tbe lives of people. And yet, everywhere you turn, networking is under siege. Local Chambers of Commerce are eliminating networking at an alarming rate. Some network marketing companies are giving networking a blemish, and major publications and business experts decry networking as an evil means to an end. It isn’t hard to find someone cheerfully announcing the death of networking.

 

And it comes as no surprise. For many, networking isn’t something that comes naturally. It’s awkward walking into a room full of people and finding your place. In the grocery line we do our best to keep our eyes on our carts to avoid a chance meeting with someone we don’t know.   Networking is, as one person recently told me, “As foreign to me as brain surgery”.

 

In a recent article on FastCompany.com, Samantha Cole leads with “Why Networking Makes You Feel Physically Gross”. It seems that all that discomfort you’ve been feeling when networking is manifesting itself physically in a not-so-good way. Perhaps you’ve felt it.

 

The article sites a University of Toronto study that finds we feel “icky” after networking. It goes on to surmise that networking forms relationships based on our, “…dirtiest motivations: Money and power.” More on that in a moment, but first, let’s dig a bit deeper into the study.

 

While the article doesn’t tell us specifically who participated in the study, it does conclude that people playing fill in the gaps word games are more likely to come up with words like “wash”, “soap”, and “shower” after what they refer to as “selfish networking moments.” You can read the complete article here: http://bit.ly/1q6MM3F

 

Further, they asked a whopping 165 lawyers about their networking habits and found that those who were most powerful were “less grossed out” by networking than those who were less powerful.  Notice the inference is that they were all grossed out, just those with power were “less grossed out”.

 

But perhaps the most telling line in the article is found in the final paragraph. It suggests you’ll feel “less slimy” if you “change your perspective—and your approach—to finding connections that genuinely do interest you beyond professional gain.”

 

This is where so many get genuine networking wrong. They just can’t help but come back to it being all about themselves. Notice the article suggests you find people interested in you, not you finding people you are interested in. Is this any less sincere? Isn’t this just as “dirty” a motive?

 

You can’t feel “less slimy” when you are focusing on yourself. Genuine networking is interested in self, but consumed with others. When you know how to be genuine in your networking endeavors, you approach each meeting , whether in a room full of people or in the grocery check-out with a genuine interest in others and a servant heart. You know that you will get what you need by helping others get what they want.

 

And here’s a news alert for you: Money and power aren’t intrinsically “dirty”. While there are those who obtain money and power illegitimately, more often money is a measure of service you’ve provided. Those with power in a community earn it through service. It never fails, serve others and they’ll reward you. If you’ll only focus on serving others they will cheerfully give you everything you need.

 

Which brings us back to the beginning. Where do you go to find what you need? Serve others and the answers will appear. And since most people are interested in themselves and their needs, there is a big opportunity out there for those who have a servant heart. Networking to find what people need and how you can help them get it is the best way to find your place of service.

 

So while figures and studies continue to confirm networking’s death, there will still be those who know the truth: Networking, genuine networking, is alive and well and will be for as long as humans communicate.


The Moment of Truth: Being Worthy of Referrals - It's All About Follow Up

Something magical happens when you begin to attend networking events.  People begin to give you leads and referrals.  Many have been fortunate to have met someone who wanted to do business right away.  Others have met someone at a networking event that should be a part of their networking circle.  And still others have met that rare individual who just hears what they do and knows someone who needs their product or service.  It happens.  And when it does it is a beautiful thing.

Other times you have worked hard for the opportunity.  You have attended events, met people and delivered a great elevator pitch (Magical Networking Moment).  Through planning your networking and working your plan you have received leads and referrals.

Now comes the moment of truth.  What happens when you meet someone or when someone gives you a lead or referral?  What will you do with what you have been given? Most leads, referrals, and opportunities die.  Most people never follow up or follow through.  It's sad but true.  Nothing will shut referrals down faster than lack of action on your part.  The referral you have received will die.  Worse still, because you will be known as someone who doesn't follow up, you won't receive more referrals either.

The good news is you can stand out in most any crowd by being the exception.  Simply by following up puts you in an elite class.  Following up shows respect for the referral.  It shows respect for the person who gave you the referral and it shows respect for you, your company, and everyone's time.  And following up is easy.  You have tools at your disposal that make managing contacts a snap.  You must use them.

While it is the least effective, a simple email can get the follow up process going.  Be aware that email isn't what it used to be.  Most people get at least fifty emails a day, so your email may not receive priority.  Using email alone is better than most, but not enough to reach the most valuable prospects.  Email does have it's place in the follow up process.  It provides an easy way to connect and it provides a simple management tool for contact information.  Use email to make quick, consistent contact with people.

Incorporate snail mail options too.  Since we get more email today, many forget that regular mail is a powerful tool.  The use of letters, lumpy mail (mail with something inside that makes the envelope beg to be opened), and hand written cards and notes is powerful.  For those who simply cannot seem to get this done, programs like Send Out Cards can do this for you.  Regular mail is an easy way to stand out from the crowd.

One other tool often overlooked is the telephone.  Make use of the phone wisely.  When you call, treat the gatekeeper (if there is one) like you would want to be treated.  Engage them by using their name and by telling them who you are and why you are calling.  It is best to ask for an introductory call when you have been referred. This coupled with courtesy for the gatekeeper will usually ensure your call gets through.  And when leaving messages make them short and to the point.  Your name, your phone number, who suggested you call, your name and phone number again should suffice.  Don't try to sell them on calling you back or your product or service in a message.  The referral should result in a return call.

Having a plan and process that you put every referral through will ensure that you are known as someone who follows up.  Using email, regular mail, the telephone, and courtesy for the gatekeeper will show everyone that you are a professional and worthy of referrals.  Being worthy means more referrals and more business.  So make it happen, follow up.


Starting Your Own Networking Group - Be Sure to Weigh the Risk and Reward and Begin With a Bang!

Networking and connecting can be incredibly rewarding.  And as you get the hang of it you may determine that the time has come for you to start your own networking group.  While many who choose to will succeed, the risk involved should be measured against the potential reward before jumping in.

There are many rewards for starting your own group should it succeed.  You may be in a highly competitive field like banking, insurance, or real estate and all the positions in the established closed groups are filled.  Starting a group would provide you with an opportunity to participate in a closed or exclusive group.  Of course when you start a group you have the added luxury of determining who will be allowed in the group.  And by starting your own group you can determine when the group meets, where it meets, and virtually all other logistical aspects of the group.

While there are many other benefits to starting your own group, one final benefit is that you have the opportunity to demonstrate your leadership skills.  This will make you instantly more likely to receive leads and referrals.  Everyone wants to associate with a leader.

With benefit we often find risk, and the risks are many when it comes to starting your own networking group.  You may not succeed and those you attempt to bring into a group will be disappointed.  This may lead to fewer leads and referrals.  You may alienate a friend or networking partner if you do not invite them to your new group.  There may be power struggles and difficulty moving the group to action from time to time.  And if you choose to charge a fee to be apart of the group you will have the headache of maintaining the books for a new business venture that will make little if any money for some time to come.  If you don't charge a fee you may find it harder to get participants to take the group seriously.

While the risks are many the reward in many cases will outweigh the risk.  You should choose to jump in if this is the case.  But you should do so after careful examination of all the factors that will impact your success.  The most successful launches of new groups always begin by identifying a core group of key participants that will bring excitement to the group.  These participants should be people you know well but don't network with as often as you would like.  Once you've identified a core group, choose a day of the week and time that works for everyone and stick to it.  Have an initial meeting to get the group going and to determine the other business categories you wish to fill.  Then plan a launch party with at least four weeks notice.

Begin with a bang by inviting more people than you need to fill the group.  Each person in the core group should invite at least ten people to the launch party.  Make this truly a party atmosphere full of fun and excitement.  Plan this meeting well and invite more than one person from each business category.  What should result is a competition for the open slots between the invitees.  This creates buzz and desire to participate.  These newly drafted members will add excitement and enthusiasm to your group.  Do this as many times as it takes to fill the group.  Don't be overly ambitious about membership.  Most closed groups function best with between six and twenty members.

You may notice we have made no reference to open groups in this discussion.  We believe there is an abundance of open networking groups and no need to create more.  If you're looking for an active, powerful, open group, look no further than your local chamber of commerce.  If it isn't functioning at a high level, volunteer to super-charge the networking for them.  You will have an instant audience and you will be more likely to succeed.

Starting a group is typically the last resort or only necessary if you cannot find what you are looking for in another group.  It is an option if your category is filled in all the exclusive groups or if there is a lot of competition in your industry.   You can set yourself apart by starting a group.  Be sure to identify the potential risk involved and measure it against the potential reward before jumping in.  Starting your own group can be fun and rewarding so long as you know how to do it and what you hope to accomplish.