Why Networking is a Waste of Time

If you think you’ll build your business this year by doing more networking, think again. Nearly all time networking is time wasted.

handshakeYou might not think the author of three books on networking would say networking is a waste of time, but after twenty years of studying networking, after attending and facilitating over 3000 networking events, and after hearing over 10,000 networking self introductions in just one year alone, I’m comfortable telling you most networking is a waste of time.

Why is networking a waste of time?  Networking is just a vehicle.  Like the automobile in your driveway, the vehicle itself wastes most of its time sitting.  It may look good, it might even bring some admirers, but until you get behind the wheel and drive the car, it goes no place.

And neither will you if all you do is network.  Networking provides the vehicle to connect one with people and resources needed to solve problems.  Truly effective networking is the vehicle you should use to solve the problems your friends and acquaintances have.  This is when networking is useful.

Too many people go to networking events to sell their stuff.  They foolishly look at the room and think of all the people in the room they might sell.  That’s not networking, that’s one-to-one selling.  It’s like your car in the driveway.  It may look good, but only you can use it.  You might sell it once to someone else, but that’s the extent of its value.  Only the best equipped sales person is successful in this type of “networking”.

Some “networkers” walk in the room and think, “This will be a great resource for referrals.”  As they meet people they explain what they do and cleverly ask, “Who do you know that I should meet?”  They get leads and perhaps even a sale, but once again the focus is on them.  It’s just like a car you wish to sell, you can ask everyone if they know someone who wants to buy it, but the likelihood of finding a match is slim.  You’ll get a lead only when your product or service is an exact match for someone.

But true networkers approach things differently.  They understand that the real value of networking is in building relationships.  They approach the room differently.  “I wonder whom I’ll meet that needs to know someone I know” is their frame of reference.  They give and give and give.  Like the car, instead of letting people look at it or even selling it to them, they give everyone a ride where they wish to go, free of charge.

Some people will take the ride and barely say thank you.  Like the people who look at your car, these are the takers.  You don’t want to be one of them.

Some people will take the ride and offer to buy your car.  These are the buyers.  You’ll get them either way since your product or service solves their needs.  You don’t want to target them since they’ll come either way.

Some still will offer to drive next time.  These are the givers.  And only a giver can attract a giver.  These are the people you should be seeking in the networking environment.

Givers will immediately identify you as a giver and they’ll give to you as well.  They’ll become friends.  And friends buy from and refer friends to friends.  And so do their friends.  This is what is called networking.

As you begin to refocus your efforts decide now to be a giver and a friend.  Approach networking with the intention to give and you’ll attract others who give.  And everyone will win.


The Elevator Speech - How to Ensure Your Message Is Heard in Any Crowd

Attend networking events and before long you will have the opportunity to introduce yourself to a crowd.  While what you say is very important, how you say it will determine if your carefully crafted message (your Magical Networking Moment) will be heard.  It's not as simple as speaking loudly enough to be heard.

Most people intuitively know that they must speak up in front of a crowd, especially in a large room without a microphone.  But even the most seasoned speaker has limited experience with different acoustical characteristics. Flooring, ceiling material, furnishings, and wall coverings play a role in how well your voice will carry in a room.

A good rule of thumb is to remember that the harder the surface, the more your voice will carry and be reflected.  You will need to speak louder in rooms with carpet, soft wall coverings, abundant plush seating, and textured ceiling tile since these materials will absorb sound.  Conversely, you will speak softer and more slowly in a school cafeteria where you will find hard floors, chairs, tables, and ceiling materials since your voice will carry and even echo is some situations.

Regardless of venue, every event has its share of soft-spoken folks who fail to be heard. Here are a few tips to ensure that you will be heard every time you introduce yourself.

1.    Get there early.  If you arrive early you can test your voice in the room.  This will ensure that you will be loud enough, but it will also ensure that you won't be too loud too.
2.    Choose your seat carefully.  Choose a seat near the front of the room or at least on the perimeter of the crowd.  You don't want to have your back to anyone.
3.    Be ready when it is your turn and stand up.  Read my previous articles on Stand, Pause, Breathe, Lean Forward, and Speak Loud Enough to be Heard.
4.    Slow down!  Most people speak too fast and therefore do not enunciate properly.  While you know exactly what you are talking about, the audience doesn't.  Give the listener time to grasp what you are saying.
5.    Remember that less is more.  Give the audience only one or two points to remember. Chances are they will not remember much.

It is important to remember your goal.  You want others to come up to you and ask for more information.  You cannot and should not try to be all things to all people.  If you carefully craft your message and deliver it with the proper volume and pace, you will find that you will attract all the right people.  Following the tips above will ensure that the right people will hear you in every crowd.


Storytime at the Networking Event - Success Stories Give The Audience a Chance Play a Role

We've all been there.  We are at a networking event and it's time for the elevator speeches.  And one by one they drone one in a rhythmic fashion.  "I'm Bob with Bobs Inc."  "I'm Mary with Mary's Cleaning."  "I'm Steve with Steve's Warehouse."  Each introduction more mundane than the last.  YAWN!

But then something unusual happens.  We find that we're listening to someone more intently.  And before we know it, we're hooked.  We forget about the time and our wonderful buffet lunch, and find ourselves deep inside another world.  In this new world we are experiencing new and exciting things.  What is the difference?  A story.

When delivering your elevator speech (Magical Networking Moment), using stories will capture the imagination and move the audience to take action much faster than the facts.  So present the facts in a success story.  A success story is any recount of an experience a customer has had with you, your product, your service, or your business.  Success stories are extremely powerful.

Most people are thinking about themselves most of the time.  This is the challenge every marketer has when conveying information about their products and services.  How do we break the preoccupation of the audience? People will naturally listen longer and more intently to a story than to a pitch.  What's more, people are naturally curious and want to know how a story ends.

And when a story applies to them, people have the ability to project themselves into the story and really see the success happening for them too.  When they do, you have the rare opportunity to use their self-focus to your benefit. When people are able to think about themselves while using your product or service it translates into more business for you.

Be certain that your story is true as honesty is always the best policy and your integrity and credibility are keys to networking success.  And resist the temptation to embellish for effect.  Those who relate to the story won't need a larger than life experience to be drawn in.  That isn't to say that you shouldn't bring life to the story.  Include sensory words like saw, felt, tasted, and heard to bring the story to life.

And for those who are new to the company, use a story from a seasoned veteran.  Again, confirm the truth of the story but once confirmed, share the success story with audiences until you have your own.  Tell a success story every chance you get.  You may use different stories or the same one over and over again.  Remember there are always new ears listening.

One bit of caution when using stories.  Just as the audience will be drawn in and will loose track of time, so will you if you haven't practiced.  Don't attempt to tell a story off the cuff.  Practice your story in front of a mirror until you have the right facial expressions and you have a handle on the time it takes to share.  Telling the story masterfully is a skill that must be developed and practiced.

Storytelling has been with us since our first words.  Cave dwellers and ancients from all parts of the globe used pictures to tell stories.  Today we continue to share our most powerful lessons through stories.  You can use stories to tell in a more interesting way the story of your product or service and more people will be interested.  Use the success story to win more business and build better relationships. Tell the story.


Knock, Knock! - Know Who is There at Networking Events - Lunch Groups

Whether you realize it or not you have been to a networking lunch.  Food, lunch time, and more than one person are the requirements for a networking lunch.  Having lunch with a prospect or co-worker is a networking lunch by definition.  But for our conversation we will focus on structured, multi-attendee networking luncheons.

Most networking luncheons attract a wide variety of people from all business categories with one common bond; nearly all will be directly or indirectly responsible for sales at the company they represent.  For this reason the networking lunch takes on a different personality than all other networking events.

Networking luncheons vary from structured events with a formal meal and keynote speaker to a loosely tied together group where everyone brings their own "brown-bag" lunch.  What makes networking luncheons different from networking events at other times during the day (aside from the preponderance of sales people in the room) is the compressed time frame.  Most people who attend networking luncheons have scheduled meetings before and after the lunch and therefore have limited time.

Except for the largest groups, most networking luncheons provide an opportunity for the attendees to give their elevator speech or sixty-second commercial.  Few people who attend networking luncheons are shy since there are many sales related professionals in the room.  You should be prepared to deliver a self-introduction for one-on-one interactions and to the audience that is concise and audience-focused.  You have approximately seven seconds to gain the interest of the listener before he or she mentally turns you off.

One of the best things about networking luncheons is that you will easily meet new people if you want to.  Even if you attend with a co-worker, sit with someone you haven't met.  By the time the lunch is over you will know a lot about your new friend and they will know a lot about you.  This is the beginning of a relationship that will lead to more connections.  You can't help but get to know people when you share a meal with them.

Since most of the people at networking luncheons are in sales, they will have a vast network of connections and it is highly likely that someone in the room will know the person or people you are trying to meet.  Focus on the people you meet and the ways you can help them.  When asked, clearly state the benefits you can offer others and the connections you are seeking.  You can quickly open doors through the relationships you will forge at networking luncheons.

But heed this one word of caution.  Except formal events, a networking luncheon is a relaxed atmosphere. Since there are so many sales people at networking luncheons, you may mistake their candor as sales pushiness.  While there will be a few pushy sales people to be certain, the vast majority of the group is there to meet new people and grow their network.  Although it does happen, don't go expecting to sell something to someone that day.  And bring plenty of business cards but don't hand one out unless asked.   Rarely does anyone follow up with someone from an unsolicited card.

Networking luncheons provide an outstanding opportunity to meet a lot of people and to meet many who know the people you need to know.  Just remember that the networking luncheon is a time-compressed, full contact, networking event. It requires a clear understanding of the attendees and for you to have a concise, audience-focused message.  Be certain to attend, meet new people, and follow-up promptly and you will win big at networking luncheons.