Why Networking is a Waste of Time
If you think you’ll build your business this year by doing more networking, think again. Nearly all time networking is time wasted.
You might not think the author of three books on networking would say networking is a waste of time, but after twenty years of studying networking, after attending and facilitating over 3000 networking events, and after hearing over 10,000 networking self introductions in just one year alone, I’m comfortable telling you most networking is a waste of time.
Why is networking a waste of time? Networking is just a vehicle. Like the automobile in your driveway, the vehicle itself wastes most of its time sitting. It may look good, it might even bring some admirers, but until you get behind the wheel and drive the car, it goes no place.
And neither will you if all you do is network. Networking provides the vehicle to connect one with people and resources needed to solve problems. Truly effective networking is the vehicle you should use to solve the problems your friends and acquaintances have. This is when networking is useful.
Too many people go to networking events to sell their stuff. They foolishly look at the room and think of all the people in the room they might sell. That’s not networking, that’s one-to-one selling. It’s like your car in the driveway. It may look good, but only you can use it. You might sell it once to someone else, but that’s the extent of its value. Only the best equipped sales person is successful in this type of “networking”.
Some “networkers” walk in the room and think, “This will be a great resource for referrals.” As they meet people they explain what they do and cleverly ask, “Who do you know that I should meet?” They get leads and perhaps even a sale, but once again the focus is on them. It’s just like a car you wish to sell, you can ask everyone if they know someone who wants to buy it, but the likelihood of finding a match is slim. You’ll get a lead only when your product or service is an exact match for someone.
But true networkers approach things differently. They understand that the real value of networking is in building relationships. They approach the room differently. “I wonder whom I’ll meet that needs to know someone I know” is their frame of reference. They give and give and give. Like the car, instead of letting people look at it or even selling it to them, they give everyone a ride where they wish to go, free of charge.
Some people will take the ride and barely say thank you. Like the people who look at your car, these are the takers. You don’t want to be one of them.
Some people will take the ride and offer to buy your car. These are the buyers. You’ll get them either way since your product or service solves their needs. You don’t want to target them since they’ll come either way.
Some still will offer to drive next time. These are the givers. And only a giver can attract a giver. These are the people you should be seeking in the networking environment.
Givers will immediately identify you as a giver and they’ll give to you as well. They’ll become friends. And friends buy from and refer friends to friends. And so do their friends. This is what is called networking.
As you begin to refocus your efforts decide now to be a giver and a friend. Approach networking with the intention to give and you’ll attract others who give. And everyone will win.
Don't Let This "Creep" Ruin Your Plans
Making lasting change requires learning new skills that will be repeated over and over until they become habits. Habits are the “remote control” of our lives, governing virtually every action we take.
I remember our first television remote control. It had four buttons: On, Off, Volume, Channel. 
Oddly, these are the four I use most when I can successfully navigate the remote control to this day.
Today our remote control has sixty-three buttons. Yours may have more but it is doubtful it has less. I have no idea what most of the buttons do, but I have them just in case I need them. I presume I should be comforted by all the extra features at my fingertips and the “just-in-case” features I could use should I find the need.
But I’m not. Actually, I’m troubled most of the time and frustrated all of the time by my remote. And yes, you’ve guessed it, I’ve found my way out of the chair and back to the television to turn the volume up or down, change channels, and even turn the set on or off. It’s just easier than using my multi-featured remote which was designed to make my life easier.
It is called “feature creep” and it refers to the things added to a device simply because there is space for it. The processor has a bit more space, let’s add a feature. We need a bigger processor to handle all the buttons, but when we add the bigger processor we have room for more buttons, and the process continues until no one knows why we have all the buttons.
I’ve found that remote control to be a metaphor for my life as well. In my early years there wasn’t much to think about or worry about. My life was like that early remote with four buttons: Play, School, Sleep, Eat.
Now my life is much like the sixty-three button remote I have. Thinking about all those time-saving, money-making, life-changing gadgets I’ve purchased over the years fatigues me. And that’s just the beginning. What about all the features I’ve allowed to creep into my life, the ideas and information that seemed useful at the time? And the experiences I’ve had, the careers I’ve been in, the businesses I’ve started, sold or folded. These things have slowly, methodically, and effectively crippled me.
I literally have hundreds of thousands of pages of information that I’ve downloaded onto my computer for future reference. I have over seven-hundred bookmarks of websites that one day I’ll refer back to. I have over seventy domain names for websites I’ll one day build or have built. Who can keep up with such things? Certainly not me. I don’t even know half of them and forget about trying to find a document on my computer. Not a chance. I’ve simply created more information than my “remote control” can handle. I bet you have too.
Which leads me to the first week of January and those pesky resolutions many of us have made. Statistically, thirty-eight percent of us made no resolutions at all and a whopping twenty-five percent more have already failed at the ones we made. If you made it this far you have a ninety percent chance to succeed through next week. After the second week you’re a mere week away from the time experts tell us it takes to create a habit. And a habit is life’s “remote control”.
And while all that is interesting, what does it have to do with the remote control? Plenty! You see, I (and perhaps you) don’t use the remote control or many of its buttons because we don’t understand how to. We don’t understand how because we haven’t taken the time to learn how from someone who knows and to do it repeatedly until it becomes second nature.
Most of us with New Year’s Resolutions are entering into uncharted territory. We’re embarking on actions and ideas in which we have no experience. Imagine you are watching a program on television. During the commercial break you change the channel to a different program. Depending upon how interested you become in the new one, you will either stick with the new one or go back to the old one. In life, by trial and error, we will either find our new “channel” or revert back to our old ones.
But here are some statistics you should know. While it may be daunting, forty-nine percent of those who do make New Year’s Resolutions have some degree of success in positive change. Experts say those who make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than those who do not.
And perhaps the most important point of all: You don’t need New Year’s Day to make a resolution. Just as you can change the channel at any time if a program is no longer of interest to you, you can resolve to change your habit channel at anytime. Here’s what you should know.
Delaying a resolution until a future date gives you more days of engaging in the undesired behavior, making it that much more difficult to change. Further, the emotion you feel when you decide you need to change that is essential in ensuring your success will wane over time.
You will be ten times more likely to achieve your goals when you make a resolution. You’ll be forty-nine percent likely to achieve some measure of success when doing so. And when you engage in a new behavior for twenty-one days, you’ll create a habit. You will effectively change the channel of your life.
So, resolve to be different to attain your goals. Take action for twenty-one days and switch to a new channel, creating the new habit that will put your new lifestyle on remote control.
As for me, I’ve got to get up and change the channel.
Thinking is the Mother of Freedom
Discerning thought is the one thing that separates us more than anything else from all of God's creatures. Our min
ds are a vast bastion of freedom that no person can restrict without our permission.
And while it is a sad statement that we have become a society in which free thought receives a lot of lip service but very little actual support, that discussion is only relevant to those who choose to think for themselves. Few do.
The greatest threat to freedom is not oppression by others, it is the self-suppression of our own minds. This suppression characterizes itself in three forms: Habit, Fatigue, and Compliance.
Habits are useful for humans. Man is a creature of habit. Habits make life predictable which is essential in complex world with so many variables. But habits can be harmful as well. While we all have habits we should change, the habit of not thinking as a free man or woman should be at the top of the list.
When was the last time you truly thought like a free man or woman? Perhaps it was as long ago as your childhood. What were you going to do with your life before you were worn down by experience and necessity? What is it that you secretly wish to do now, if you only had the freedom to do it? Brian Tracy asks, "What one thing would you do if you knew you could not fail?" He goes on to ask, "Why aren't you doing it?"
The only place of true freedom is in one's mind. This year, exercise the freedom of your mind by thinking of what you would do if you knew you couldn't fail. Then think about how you can go about doing it.
We all succumb to fatigue. But what makes us most fatigued is one simple phrase: "Have to". How many times in a day do you "have to" do something? We "have to" go to work. We "have to" pick up the kids. We "have to" make dinner. Fatigue should be experienced because we've fully spent the freedom we enjoy, not because we've burned up the hours in "have to" activities.
When exercising your freedom of thought this year, use it to make those things you do free choices as well. Replace "have to" with "get to" and see how different you feel. Imagine the joy of "getting to" pick up the kids after school. Many parents don't have the privilege. Best of all, when "have to" becomes "get to" you just might find some of those "have to" activities aren't all that necessary.
Perhaps no other thing we experience is so defeating as compliance. Whether political correctness or family and peer pressure, we all comply with others to some extent. Compliance is good in that it provides common ground from which we all can prosper and be free. But everyone suffers when we comply in an attempt to appease others.
We all know people who had dreams and aspirations that were thwarted by well-meaning family and friends who cautioned them against their dreams. What fantastic new services or products have been kept from us by this type of compliance? Countless are the thought-provoking, idea generating ideas that have been held back due to fear of failure, success, or scrutiny of others. How devastating it is to the free mind to hold back ideas and beliefs.
There was a time when men and women said what they meant and meant what they said. That was a time of thought-provoking ideas. Today we may say what we think but don't think about what we say. More often than not we're reciting our lines or those of someone we listen to often. We comply with ideas instead of investigating them and seeking our own. We become involved in the conversation before we investigate what the conversation is about.
This year, commit to thinking through things that matter to you. Decide that you will be well-versed in those things and you'll stay out of those that don't matter to you. Things happen and are reported far too quickly to be an instant expert on everything. Think before you speak, but speak once you've thought.
To be truly free, one must think like a free person. Free people resist bad habits. Free people "get to" do things and limit those things they "have to" do. And free people rarely comply unless they have thought through things first and make a conscious choice to comply.
Free people are open to new ideas, especially those of their own thinking.
God Stepped In For This Appearance At Jobseekers PTC
God clearly had His hand in my recent talk at Jobseekers. I recorded it on my iPhone without a microphone so the audio is a bit muffled in places. Turn your speakers up and see what God did to ensure I didn't miss a very important day.
God Stepped In For This Appearance At Jobseekers
You won't hear the full joke at the beginning but the end of the joke ties in nicely with the introduction so I preserved it. You also won't hear the conversation as I was leaving with a gentleman who is related to Jane Brenner, a lady I knew while living in Punta Gorda (you'll understand the irony if you listen to the full talk).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSQKFkMlC38&feature=share&list=UUMYARjsZs7ePj6pLBSpC4Jg
The Brand You
Whether we are aware or not, each of us has a brand that is singularly ours. I recently shared some ideas on how to better develop a personal brand with a group of Jobseekers.
Free help with personal self introduction click here
Just as we all have a brand, we are all constantly seeking connection with someone. Jobseekers are seeking connection with employers. Salespeople with customers. Single people with potential spouses. While targeted at jobseekers this talk can help anyone with their personal branding. See the short video below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKD2Q-C20hY&feature=c4-overview&list=UUMYARjsZs7ePj6pLBSpC4Jg